digitaltaco.com 2005-06-10T23:41:32Z tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2008://2 Movable Type Copyright (c) 2005, ryan "WE AIN'T GOING TO THE TOWN... 2005-06-10T23:41:32Z 2005-06-10T15:13:22-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.102 2005-06-10T23:13:22Z we're going to the city." since it's now official, i suppose i can announce that i've taken a new position at ziff davis. 1up.com will now have bad-ass video content. (as i typed-up that link, i realized what a short... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com
since it's now official, i suppose i can announce that i've taken a new position at ziff davis. 1up.com will now have bad-ass video content. (as i typed-up that link, i realized what a short url it is. score.)

best of all... i'm not going alone. jane's coming with me. in fact, she's the reason i get to go in the first place; although raymond did begin putting ideas in sam kennedy's mind months ago. so anyway, big, big thanks to jane. seriously. kid, you're a very positive force in my life and i can't thank you enough. i won't let you down.... i promise.

i'll miss my mates out at gamespy and ign editorial. you guys made the last two years a blast and i don't regret anything i've done with the company. that said, i'm glad i'm finally getting the chance to move on to more interesting things. keep your eyes on my new site. it's gonna be an interesting year :) ]]> FIELD TRIPPIN' 2005-06-06T06:47:45Z 2005-06-05T22:13:04-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.101 2005-06-06T06:13:04Z working for ign definitely has its moments; usually, those moments are had in front of our street fighter II turbo: hyper fighting cabinet. but earlier last tuesday was one of the first times i have actually been proud to be... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com ign definitely has its moments; usually, those moments are had in front of our street fighter II turbo: hyper fighting cabinet. but earlier last tuesday was one of the first times i have actually been proud to be an employee. for whatever reason, just over a half-dozen eighth grade boys visited our offices on a field trip.

THIS KID KILLED EVERYONE...

david adams, the fellow in the neighboring cube showed the kids how he enters new stories into our back-end system just before i gave them a brief video creation demo. i would have had a better chance keeping their attention if i hadn't had the brilliant idea to allow them to play the game we were capturing footage from. apparently destroy all humans is much more interesting than avid. at least there was one interested young mind. seeing the future video producer in him just warmed my heart. so damn cute...

during the roundtable session, the children were free to ask a group of us editors questions about the business, our industry, etc. of course, it only took about two-and-a-half minutes before the subject matter in question was no longer inter-office protocol but rather the Playstation 3 launch line-up and Halo 2.5. The adult supervision present didn't seem too thrilled about the gaming conversation, but oh well. it wasn't their day.

we took them into our demo rooms for some 16 player halo 2 multiplayer matches before interviewing the lot of 'em on-camera for an upcoming feature. the distraction did keep me from my desk for the morning, which i, of course, totally appreciated. in addition, i could tell that those children were genuinely thankful for the day's experiences. i know i would've loved to have had the chance to visit a gaming publication at such a young age... i would've loved to have been able to show my parents proof, without a doubt, that there were people who made money writing about games. sometimes, i still don't think they believe it.]]> TOKYO JOURNALS 2005-05-08T20:23:56Z 2005-05-08T12:06:27-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.100 2005-05-08T20:06:27Z -- i promise i'll be around more frequently once e3 passes... -- i hate shane. why? he's been blogging from tokyo for more than two full months and he didn't even have the common courtesy to inform me about it!... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com i promise i'll be around more frequently once e3 passes... --

i hate shane. why? he's been blogging from tokyo for more than two full months and he didn't even have the common courtesy to inform me about it! carlos and i found the existence of his blog to be rather shocking. mostly because it's really a good read. (especially for you music lovers out there.)

THE HIFANA VIDEO SHOOT.

nice work, shane... nice work.

you bastard ;)]]> WHERE AM I? 2005-04-06T06:16:56Z 2005-04-05T21:44:46-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.99 2005-04-06T05:44:46Z around... somewhere. it's been busy, busy, busy. in fact, work has kept me so thoroughly swamped that i've nearly completely lost the urge to write here. what a sad state, indeed. the past few months have been interesting: we lost... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com
the past few months have been interesting: we lost three roommates & gained three new ones; i've visited with a bunch of old friends like olivian and jason; and in the small bit of spare time i've had recently, i've attempted to spend time with the people i care about in town. phil -- of phil'z coffee -- is proving to be more and more interesting daily. today he told me he was going to allow carlos a chance to open up a smallish sandwich shop inside his headquarters; my, would that be grand. i've also been spending a lot of time with jane; one day one of our crazy projects will come together, i assure you. we're a dangerous pair.

oh, and gamers: you better have been having some phenomenal game experiences lately. there's simply no excuse not to. i've mentioned resident evil 4 in the past... and now god of war has arrived on the ps2 to challenge the current king of the action throne for the year. splinter cell: chaos theory may be unfortunately titled, but it is quite a bit more compelling than its predecessors when it comes to gameplay. brothers in arms is good... i've heard tekken 5 is as well. and god, the psp has proved a lovely companion; wipeout and lumines are intensely satisfying. and if you're super-hardcore, there are import ds games to be playing: mizuguchi's new puzzler meteos and nintendo's electroplankton. i've ordered the latter and should be able to provide some thoughts here after it arrives.

so yeah... play.

i've got projects to work on, so i'll have to bid you farewell for the time being, but i'll be back shortly. until then, keep playing. and since i've done a less than spectacular job providing frequent updates, i'll point you toward jane's brand-new blog for additional reading; it's her third... and i can't even keep a single site updated properly :D]]> SORRY, NINTENDO... 2005-02-26T19:09:16Z 2005-02-26T10:24:02-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.98 2005-02-26T18:24:02Z ...but you're about to get served. i got the opportunity to bring a sony psp home from the office for the weekend, and as expected, it's a completely incredible device. the games i've got on-hand -- lumines, ridge racer, and... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com lumines, ridge racer, and darkstalker's chronicle: the chaos tower -- are all wonderful representations of their respective genres. it has never been possible to play an experience on par with that available on home consoles on a handheld system; but march 24th, that will change.

i hadn't touched the device since the tokyo game show last september. now that i've spent some time with the retail unit and some finished games, it's clear that my decision to align myself with the device -- rather than nintendo's ds -- was wise. the screen is awe-inspiring. it's comfortable to hold. it's as sexy as any piece of consumer electronics i've seen. and, yeah, the games... so far, i've got no complaints about them either.

YOUNG MATT ENJOYS A LITTLE RIDGE RACER.

but what's turning out to be most interesting is the other stuff you can do with it. not only did we get thing thing to recognize our wireless network (and even search for firmware updates online! -- none yet, of course), but with some effort, i was able to get two different videos up and running on the psp last night: the us pilot of "the office" and this interview with shane kim, the general manager of microsoft game studios that i made earlier in the day at my own office. (oh, and if you were wondering just how much better the image quality of canon's xl2 is than the xl1s', download the high-res version of that video... astounding video fidelity, i assure you.) the process was not painless; in fact, i would argue that it was rather painful. i had to format my memory stick every time i wanted to delete a video, for example. and the apps used to compress the movies to a format that the psp could interpret are rather clunky. the image quality of said videos isn't that great, either. and the psp's user interface isn't the most user-friendly, when it comes to file management. yet, i was able to produce videos and get them to run on the psp. when that process gets easier, god... it will be so slick.

so yeah... the psp is hot. it's one of the nicest consoles ever, and definitely the most intriguing handheld. so far the games look amazing and you can bet that every child and adult on the block is gonna want one as soon as that grand theft auto game hits... shouldn't be too far off.

i remember when pokémon was at the height of its popularity here in the states; elementary schools had to ban the use of game boys, as too many children spent all their recess time trading virtual creatures. i wouldn't be surprised if office buildings and other workplaces will be required to take a similar stance when sony's device hits. surely, "carl" will have to be discouraged from killing hookers and catching touchdown passes on company time. i'm already worried about how the ability to join to the fx300 racing league on the go will affect my productivity.

my advice? put aside $250 if you can afford it and you like videogames. if you can't, come on over and play. we welcome the company. ]]> THE DEFINITION OF NERDINESS 2005-02-25T04:00:37Z 2005-02-24T19:44:23-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.97 2005-02-25T03:44:23Z there's absolutely no question that i have something better to be doing this evening. in fact, i'll take this opportunity to apologize to jane; you see, while i should be taking these few after-office hours to work on our cute... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com jane; you see, while i should be taking these few after-office hours to work on our cute little project, i'm admittedly a bit distracted. my bedroom is in shambles. there are wires everywhere. i've had to bring an extra end table into my immediate living area to accomodate my latest fixation. there's simply no end to my geekiness, given the proper circumstances, and the photo below will prove it.

NO, YOU'RE NOT SEEING DOUBLE.

the gran turismo games do funny things to me, as you can plainly see. yes, there are two steering wheels in the shot. and yes, the one facing the television is simply attached to the table to help add a bit of extra weight. yes, that's the japanese copy of gran turismo 4 between the wheels. and yes, that's the US version sitting atop the copy of "nausicaa."

there's no doubt; i'm a nerd. well, at least for the evening. tomorrow, final cut pro and stuffed animals will be my reality.

now to hit the highway on my t.v... with appropriate tunes, of course ;) ]]> VEGAS: THE WRONG WAY 2005-02-18T17:51:54Z 2005-02-18T09:18:01-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.96 2005-02-18T17:18:01Z as a game journalist, i'm often sent out on the road to cover events hosted by game publishers who are keen to show off their upcoming line-up for the year. most of these companies are based in san francisco, so... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com
IF YOU SQUINT, YOU CAN SEE THE MGM GRAND...

unfortunately, it's really just the video teams who need to work as often as we do on the road; writers -- even those who work for online publications, and are thus required to work in a similarly timely fashion -- tend to be able to crank out text pretty quickly. but video work requires additional time to capture, render, & compress. editing, of course, takes the bulk of the time... but that's the fun part.

so yes, we often are required to leave promptly after our work on the event floor has been completed. and while we're there, the work comes even more briskly. i shot around 8-10 interviews in the span of 3 hours yesterday; the finished products from the event are meant to serve two websites, mind you. i was busy, to say the least.

those of you who know me well are now thinking, "what do you care? you don't like parties?" and that is generally true. i guess i was mostly annoyed by the fact that there were a bunch of really cool developers wandering the floor yesterday, including much of the ex-ion storm talent that midway has been grabbing up. i would've loved a few moments to chat with some of them. our industry needs more visionaries. i also wish we had pointed our camera at more of said fine folk and less at marketing types who are so far removed from the creative portion of the development process. we didn't even talk to romero; an experienced interviewer could really have a good time with him. oh well, hopefully at some point in the future i'll have more time to network at these events rather than simply work. then maybe i'll get to ask mr. smith if he wants to grab a beer and talk about games. ]]> LOVE, IT'S A TRICKY BEAST 2005-02-14T16:42:34Z 2005-02-14T07:58:05-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.95 2005-02-14T15:58:05Z we all know what day it is. and frankly, i don't mind the holiday as much as some. sure, i hate its commercial origins and feel that love is something to be celebrated on a daily basis rather than once... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com
i've been in the interesting position of being able to casually disregard this holiday since elementary school, when bringing in silly heart-covered cards with small candies attached to them was a near-mandatory practice. at the time, asking everybody in the class to "be my valentine" was simply a diversionary tactic necessary to get more candy; it had nothing to do with love and everything to do with chocolate and, of course, avoiding any one particular person's "cooties."

those of you who are lucky enough to be in love, take the chance to celebrate today... give gifts, eat wonderfully, kiss, make love... and look at his or her face... look at the way that extra special treatment is making your other one feel... and remember it. valentine's day doesn't have to happen just once a year. why not celebrate again in a week, in a couple of days, or even tomorrow. you don't need to drop a ton of cash to let someone know you're always thinking of them. steal the hearts and the pink away from the greeting card companies and make them your own. then next year, when valentine's rolls around again, it won't be the day that's important; rather, you'll be able to celebrate another love-filled year with that someone who's made you feel like you're the one and only. then, you too will be able to casually disregard the holiday as i have been able to.

to those who aren't there yet: i can't offer much advice. if i could, i wouldn't be loveless for yet another passing year. actually, strike that. my advice is as follows: surround yourself with loving, caring friends. while there's no substitute for that perfect one-on-one relationship, there's plenty to gain from the people who care about you.

to all the people in my life that make me feel loved rather than lonely: bless you. from my roommates, to my crew from orange who are now dispersed across the planet, to all the wonderful women in my life, thank you all. you make it worth it. 'cause see, many find valentine's day a torturous reminder of what could and should be. instead, i'm reminded just how glad i am that i know how to choose friends wisely. i'm thinking of you all today. hopefully, for a moment, you'll think of me too.

virtual hugs go out to all who read this... if you're here, then this letter is definitely addressed to you.

now it's time to start valentine's off with a bang by hitting phil'z for a cup of coffee... it's like drinking liquid love, anyway... so, have yourself a wonderful day! i know i will... ]]> STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT 2005-02-13T06:23:24Z 2005-02-12T22:00:15-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.94 2005-02-13T06:00:15Z the following link comes courtesy of ludology.org; i find this to be pretty much as compelling as sexual video content comes. it's not quite porn, and not quite... not. regardless, the sample video is worth a look, though not if... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com ludology.org; i find this to be pretty much as compelling as sexual video content comes. it's not quite porn, and not quite... not. regardless, the sample video is worth a look, though not if you're at the office. you've been warned.

watch the beautiful agony.]]> "PROUD, IN A FATHERLY SORT OF WAY" OR "HOW TO DEFINE YOUR OWN DESTINY" 2005-02-13T19:15:59Z 2005-02-12T12:58:07-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.93 2005-02-12T20:58:07Z reading this post and this other post from rocco's blog made me very happy yesterday. he, derrick, and shawn are making it happen for themselves. they are making money doing something they thought was cool... they shot a show planned... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com this post and this other post from rocco's blog made me very happy yesterday. he, derrick, and shawn are making it happen for themselves. they are making money doing something they thought was cool... they shot a show planned for public access, put a few clips online, and the rest is history. a few of us at gamespy bit, helped them out the best way we could, and hopefully had a small part in getting them where they are today. rocco, your success pleases me more than you know. i wish you well in the future, and look me up if you need help. i love your energy.

watching these boys succeed gives me hope. with all i want to do, and all the potential projects that have crossed my path recently, i can't help but feel that positive energy in the air. pretty soon, people in powerful positions will realize that there a bunch of people out there with big ideas that can be quickly and simply executed. and i can't wait to do my part.

DERRICK AS SAM FISHER

want proof? look at ubisoft. they're working with penny arcade and, as mentioned, mega 64 in completely interesting ways. even the frag dolls thing is unique. sure, marketing is evil. but at least they're trying something modern. carlos and i imagine that there's a smart young person at ubi making some very important decisions. i wonder exactly who it is? i wonder if it wasn't something raymond said ;) long story...

anyway, it's an interesting time to a be a gamer with ideas. because as it stands, mainstream media is missing the boat. it's time for a revolution, and we will lead it.]]> GAMES THAT MOVE 2005-02-11T07:55:56Z 2005-02-10T11:28:28-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.92 2005-02-10T19:28:28Z i've been thinking a lot lately about what kind of gamer i am, and what i want to see in the future. last fall, i spent more time playing through new products than i had in many years. and that... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com katamari damacy... then grand theft auto: san andreas... followed by halo 2, metal gear solid 3: snake eater, need for speed underground 2, metroid prime 2: echoes, half-life 2, vampire the masquerade: bloodlines, mechassault 2: lone wolf, and more recently resident evil 4. i played a bunch of other stuff too, but to a lesser extent than these titles. some of these games are good, most are great, and at least two or three are completely outstanding. i wanted good gameplay and polished presentation; i was getting it.

i often wondered why carlos wasn't playing some of the stuff i was. he'd spent the summer with the world of warcraft beta and at some point returned to playing warcraft 3: frozen throne with our roommate, phu; and they continue to play daily. he played through half-life 2... he was as anticipatory as i was when it came to the prospect of a new narrative-driven fps from valve. but he wasn't interested in playing anything else. no halo, no metal gear, etc.

MARC ECKO'S GETTING UP: CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE

we had long discussions that would often lead to arguments about the state of gaming and what it was that was keeping him away from what i considered to be a few pretty monumental gameplay experiences. it always came down to the fact that some piece of the puzzle -- the narrative content, the presentation, or even the game's basic premise -- was unsettling or imperfect. though i agreed with his assessment, i never had a problem looking past a game's flaws and enjoying the experience for what it was.

then i hit pause.

]]>
as previously mentioned here, raymond, zoe, and i hit the d.i.c.e. summit, which is always a treat. i never feel like i'm worthy of being in the presence of so many of the industries greatest minds, when so few are admitted. last year, jason rubin made a wonderful speech about the importance of the developer; it was his opinion that the talented individuals who make the games should be empowered to take the focus off the publishers and off the rest of the hoopla that our industry endorses. i'm having trouble properly summing up the speech, but you can get the lowdown here. all told, it was pretty powerful stuff, and those in attendance pretty much loved or hated what he had to say. i fell into the former category.

this year, another speaker had the gusto to speak his mind about the overall state of the gaming industry: fashion designer, marc ecko. to make the summary move more quickly, i'll point you towards raymond's write-up of the speech, the video interview with mr. ecko that zoe and i put together, and our d.i.c.e. experience video; the final piece is nice as it features interviews with some industry leaders, who spend some serious time talking about what marc had to say. i took what he was saying to heart because his thoughts seemed to be similar to my own. read what he said... watch and listen to what he had to say to zoe. see what you think.

MR. ECKO

the main point he makes that i tend to agree with is that our industry needs a breadth of new intellectual properties on a regular basis. i see it this way: great developers know how to create great gameplay experiences. in general, with each consecutive game, a developer's technique improves and new features are added to enhance the experience. graphics, sound... they'll always improve with time. but the ip, the package that wraps-up that gameplay and those graphics... that's the variable. and presently, the market is not evolving in a way that encourages developers to pursue unique narratives. hideo kojima was tired of the mgs series after the second game. he claimed that he would give directorial control of the license to another; he was interested in pursing something else. while it's not my place to speculate why he chose to work on mgs3, i do find it disappointing in some respects. the game is wonderful, don't get me wrong; it's by far my favorite entry in the series. that said, i can't help but wonder what else he might come up with if he wasn't still telling snake's story. i mean, sun sensors on gba cartridges? crazy. cool. different. what else? i want more!

after the cameras stopped rolling on marc and zoe, i talked to the man a bit about his game, which is sounding increasingly interesting to me. he's not saying much about it yet. but something he said made me think. "i'll know i've succeeded if after playing my game, you walk out into the city and look at it differently; i want you to see the world like a graffiti artist does. i want you to notice paths, ledges... you should be figuring out how to get up." and that's it. really great artwork -- and more specifically, really great games -- tend to make me observe the world differently. in college, when i was playing half-life multiplayer daily, i would notice things... almost like i was hallucinating... the sound of a grenade bounce or the distinct 'schplung' of a crossbow bolt being fired... i'd see ventilation shaft covers and wonder where they lead or notice a spot that would only be reachable with a jump assisted by a charged gauss blast. am i crazy? probably a bit. but it happens. gran turismo, wipeout, and ridge racer have undoubtedly made me a better driver. the best narrative games contain characters that i would befriend. when such a game ends, i'm saddened as if i've lost them. the great games, the real games, the art... it changes the player. i can't help but want that to be the standard rather than the exception.

]]> GIVING 2005-02-08T06:50:39Z 2005-02-07T22:37:35-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.91 2005-02-08T06:37:35Z this year, continue sunyday we work-work for every fruits. so many many fruits taken. thanks for weather. thanks for my friend and family. worker.... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com we work-work for every fruits. so many many fruits taken.
thanks for weather. thanks for my friend and family. worker.]]> IF YOU REALLY LOVE COFFEE... 2005-02-03T18:08:54Z 2005-02-03T09:49:58-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.90 2005-02-03T17:49:58Z ...and you live in the bay area, do yourself a favor and take a trip to philz coffee (aka the gateway market) on the corner of 24th & folsom. each cup is handmade from one of phil's custom blends. he... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com
anyway, it's the best coffee ever, and part of my daily routine that i hate to miss while away.

i'll be back in a bit to talk more about d.i.c.e.. until then, ciao!]]> THE LAND OF INTRICATE CEILINGS AND ELEGANT CARPETING 2005-02-01T07:53:07Z 2005-01-31T22:06:56-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.89 2005-02-01T06:06:56Z yes, i'm back. i know it's been awhile. what can i say? i didn't feel like talking much... i'm sure you can appreciate the feeling. i suppose i should sum up the last couple of months for you. right. 1.... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com
1. i saw all of my old friends and met a bunch of new ones. it was emotional. i wish geography didn't dictate who we see on a daily basis.
2. i've begun working for ign, rather than gamespy. before you call me a traitor -- like everybody else -- realize that the alternative was moving back to orange county. while i would've loved the chance to visit my oc friends more often -- alex, ryan, song... i'm looking at you -- i'm just not ready to leave the city yet. san francisco is my home for the time being.

i'm currently sitting in a hotel room somewhere just outside las vegas. i'm out covering the d.i.c.e. summit as my last official duty for the 'spy. it's all going down at this resort called green valley ranch (not where i'm staying, unfortunately); if you can imagine a typical vegas theme casino after being infected by whatever it is that makes irvine irvine, (bay area friends can replace the word irvine with emeryville) then you have a pretty good idea what this joint looks like. that said, i find walking around it rather pleasant. it's quiet... especially for a casino. i was really concerned about that sound as i was walking through the airport earlier today... it's so abrasive, so loud. but at green valley, a trip into the casino is aurally on par with entering a magical fantasy land... what an interesting bunch of sounds to hear! i feel like peter pan. that is, at first anyway. once your deep enough in, it sounds like any other casino, only... quieter. bonus! another bonus: the attached food court has a fatburger. i haven't seen one since my oc days. it was a fond reunion.

raymond and i were informed that we wouldn't be allowed to film in the hotel... pretty much anywhere. all public areas, including pools, lobbies, and of course, the casino, are off limits. this fact made planning the second episode of the cliff show that much more difficult. how do you follow-up an off the cuff, somewhat vile, poolside interview with a "game god" in los cabos when you can't film anywhere? you take it to the bedroom. look for the results soon. those are some wacky boys, i assure you.

funny thing: young cliff's room number was somewhat familiar. i couldn't tell if i was coming or going. then again, nobody really knows what it's like to leave 2046, do they ;)

everybody's out partying tonight at a club called "the whiskey," which is not affliated with the la bar, i gather. i'd probably have joined if i wasn't staying at this other random hotel... but then again, partying has never really been my thing. instead i bought a pack of cigarettes and decided to kick it in my room solo. this led to a television viewing session -- something that only happens in lonely hotel rooms. i watched an episode of the bachelorette, a show my friend dawn shoots. i fucking hate reality tv. it's not the reality that bothers me... but rather, the unreality. they put real people through fake-ass nonesense in effort to slam people into relationships. beyond being nothing like real-life, these shows end up making me feel worse about myself. how is that possible! f television. the cinematography was fine though. so good work, dawn. i wish i had something more fulfilling for you to work on.

"instead i bought a pack of cigarettes and decided to kick it in my room solo"

something about vegas always compels me to smoke -- probably the fact that you can do it indoors, here. that said, the pack sits on this desk, unsmoked. maybe it'll be my first and last pack. it's not calling to me... asking me to smoke it... it's just sitting there. i think i'll go to bed.

tomorrow's another day. i'll spend it staring at the sky. staring at my feet. again.
oh and alex, thanks for the cut. it makes me wanna cry.]]> PLUG ME IN... 2005-01-28T01:37:24Z 2005-01-27T17:35:01-08:00 tag:www.digitaltaco.com,2005://2.88 2005-01-28T01:35:01Z i'm coming back... soon. i've been convinced by, well... you few know who you are. give me a moment to compose myself.... ryan http://www.digitaltaco.com ryan@digitaltaco.com i've been convinced by, well... you few know who you are.

give me a moment to compose myself. ]]>